‘Wait, I’m actually alone’ Younger people are experiencing more loneliness than older generations

Only 6% of 16–29-year-olds never feel lonely, reveals data from the Office for National Statistics. This is compared to 30% of people aged 70 and over. 

More younger people are now becoming the victims of loneliness.  

Many assume older generations are the main group feeling loneliness the most, due to natural life cycles, and losing more people as they grow older.   

With rising pressures to romanticise life on social media, to get the degree and have independence, younger generations may be feeling this effect.  

Is the line between having independence and being lonely becoming blurred? 

Megan Haslam is a 21-year-old student who originally lived in Bolton but moved to Edinburgh to study at the university three years ago. 

“It all kind of hit that first night. It was pretty emotional, definitely lonely.”  

Megan Haslam, 21, is coming towards the end of her degree at a university in Edinburgh- a fair distance from Manchester. 

From the very first night to three years later the loneliness has been a bug that Megan could not get rid of.  

“Especially if I’ve been at home or someone from home has been visiting, it definitely hits then. It makes me feel like, wait, I’m actually alone,” she said.   

“Even though I try to embrace being alone, it is lonely sometimes.  

‘I hopefully don’t realise how lonely it is.’ 

“And not just being able to talk to someone in the next room, talking over a phone call is very different to seeing them in person.”  

Even though the loneliness is difficult she tries to do leisurely activities on her own to get through the hard times.  

Megan’s way of life has become more independent, no longer is she waiting for her diary to match up with anyone else. 

“I just go and do it myself and hopefully don’t realise how alone it is.”  

Eating out alone can feel like a nightmare for many, but for Megan it has become the norm. 

“Going to a restaurant by myself, that was a big thing. It was pretty scary the first few times I did it.”  

“But I find that they try and serve you a bit quicker if you’re alone, so it’s not all too bad.”  

“It is a bit weird when you’re sat on the table by yourself, so I just try and read a book or the news to keep myself occupied while I’m waiting for my food. 

“But then when you actually are in there and you’re sat at a table by yourself and everyone around you is in couples or groups, it is a bit awkward.”  

The future is uncertain, however she has a choice to give this way of life up after three tough years studying. 

“I think it will get better as I get older and maybe get into a career.  

 “Maybe your social network expands a bit, and you get more used to maybe being alone.”  

Alongside studying, Megan took up a job working in John Lewis, which has got her outdoors more often than not. 

 “If I didn’t have my job, it would be a completely different experience.”  

Loneliness has been no stranger to her, as she recalls her high school years.   

“Even though I was in quite a big friendship group I felt a bit alone within the group and not having anyone to really connect with.  

“They were all together and I was just there.”  

When asked about why she thinks older people are less lonely this is how she responded: “Older people tend to have quite solid friends. Young people obviously do as well, but they have also lived a life, they know what they’re doing.”  

“Older people as well don’t judge themselves as much, and they don’t overthink.”  

Social media could also be a reason loneliness is appearing in more young people’s lives, as it creates unrealistic expectations of what life looks like for the average person.  

Megan said: “Other people from university have these massive friendship groups and they seem to be out all the time.  

“And maybe some friendships are more online and they’re not seeing as many people in person.” 

On the other side, John Marriott, 76, keeps himself busy at the Barlow Institute in Bolton to fight loneliness both for himself and for others. 

He recommends that young people should volunteer to feel a sense of belonging. 

John said: “I’ve always worked all my life. 

“I’ve never sat and wondered what to do, I’ve just gone out and done it. 

“There’s lots for people to do here, but it’s generally older people that do it. 

“It depends what youngsters want, a lot of them just want to be on the computer, which doesn’t work here.” 

He admits that when he was younger he dealt with loneliness and anxieties. 

However he has lived by the motto, “just get on with your life and get the best for you.” 

Niomi Wilkinson, a lecturer in Counselling and Psychotherapy, offered her advice. 

“Their emotions and their experiences are dismissed and if somebody is feeling stuck and lonely, it’s first of all acknowledging that. 

“Rather than someone telling them, ‘why don’t you join a club,’ there’s usually a bit of a block or there’s a process there, just listening to what it is about feeling isolated or loss of purpose that’s around for them.”